So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
