ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
