Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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