wat bout pragnant strippers??
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
