Only a mothe r could love this liver
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Girls should come with a carfax report
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
