Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
