Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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