Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
