i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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