My first STD was from a foam party
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
