if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
