bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
