There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
