When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
