jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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