this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
