why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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