Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
