just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize