Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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