Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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