I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
