Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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