I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
