Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
