well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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