Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
