I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
