im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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