PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
