She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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