News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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