the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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