I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
