Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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