The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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