So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
