bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
