My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
