Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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