FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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