The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
