It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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