guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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