Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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