Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize