her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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