I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize