So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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