The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
