drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I understand Curling. That high.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize