I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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