I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
