Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Panties = found
Randomize