I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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