I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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