ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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