No stitches, just platelets and will power
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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