at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
