In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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