Screwed.edu
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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