i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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