I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize