I wanna bring you to show and tell
it was like his penis was on wheels.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
