hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
