he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
