Don't you send me to vm
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
