I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
