You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
