I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize