I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
