She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize