In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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