when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
