so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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