have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
