Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
