the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
