ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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