I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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