I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
